The last time I wrote on here was almost 4 years ago and I said I had a lot of catching up to do…and that is more true now than it has ever been. I’d written briefly about Wilder coming into my life like a giant wave that pulls you in, and to this day it holds true. She was 10 months old when I wrote that. She’s now 6. Aubs graduated from college, Lulu followed in Micah’s footsteps and is at UCSD. Finn makes me wonder if he was adopted because he is way too nice (and good at math) to be my son, and Hayse ain’t going down till the sun comes up and I love that about her.

 They are intoxicating, authentic, and the absolute joy of my life.

What else is new? Um… Well my dog Willie is dead. So is my old man. Not much else to say about that. My older brother won’t talk to me anymore because he has some delusional idea that he was left out of an inheritance that never existed and his emotional intelligence is a negative number. Debi is dead to me. So is my little brother. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Fuck those dorks.

Moving on.

Life is now so much simpler than it ever was. I cut ties with everyone who didn’t deserve space in my mind and that made room for the ones that do. I’ve spent the last 5 months falling in love again, unapologetically, with the one person who has been in my corner since I was 7. He’s honest, kind, intelligent, witty and he loves the hell out of me. But more importantly he respects me and my kids.

It doesn’t hurt that he also loves and misses Micah the way I do.

Life is great. Its weird to write on here being in a place in life that isn’t survival mode.

I hope to write more later but who knows. I have no expectations other than to do what I am doing now in life, which is being happy and in love.

Fuck the rest of the noise.