Who writes this nonsense?

I do!  Where do I start. Well, I was born on a cold winter’s night…too far back? Oh. Ok. I’ll stick to facts. I’m 30 years old as I write this. I have 4 little girls and they make me laugh daily and I love them more each day than I ever thought would be possible to love them the day before. I live in a cute little house in Tempe with my kids, my dog, and a stray cat that I feed because it’s what I assume a good person would do. I am wildly in love with the ocean, the lake, and all things water in general. I have 2 brothers and I adore them and love that they’re good men and great friends as well.  My best friend lives in another state and that makes me want to shake my fist in the air like an old man because she encomapsses every good human quality ever known and somehow she has still stayed my friend for 2 decades….I like strong beer. I love ASU football. I’m insanely smart. I sometimes laugh at my own jokes. I love running. I love music. When I’m sad no one usually knows. I used to have a lot of dark scary stuff hidden in my closet but not anymore. I think my parents deserve awards for how well my brothers and I turned out. I can improve any situation with the right mindset and it bugs be when people don’t look for the good in things. I love hoodies, flip flops and chap stick. I love my kids. I know I already said that. I love my dog. I’m really spiritual but not religious and no, it’s not your business. I don’t care who you vote for. I don’t care if you have a cool church with a  band. I do care if you want to talk about about anything else. I’ve been lucky enough to have the most amazing friends and family and without them I would have no one to write about and no reason to want to make people laugh. I love swim suits. I have no problem telling people “No” when I need to and that took me a long time to learn. I believe I can do anything and it’s an awesome mentality to have. I’m a romantic. I love Top Gun and The Notebook. I talk when i’m nervous. I sing pretty well. I pity people who have never lost someone they loved because they really don’t know how to love the ones they have left.  A clean house is fun. A clean car is impossible for me. I hope my kids go to college. I have 3 dimples on my face. I have a lot of scars, especially on my legs. I’m a feminist. I’m not an animal person which doesn’t mean that I’m mean to them…It just means I don’t want your cat to sit on my lap. i’m allergic to hay, bees and bullshit. I can do a backflip. That’s a lie. I think pick up trucks are sexy. I think tattoos are too. I’ll use any excuse to talk about my kids. I have a temper. I think most people are their biggest road blocks in life. I pray daily. Yes, that’s true. When I’m gone, I want people to remember me as a good person, a beautiful soul and most importantly a great mother…and maybe dead sexy too, if I die young.